Tom desperately tries to battle his doubts and fears about death, abandonment, and loneliness while struggling with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, acute anxiety, and crippling depression. He writes prose and poetry in his journal as an attempt to cope. And he tries, unsuccessfully, to keep this internal conflict from becoming known to his family and friends by trying to keep up appearances. But the tiny thread keeping his hope alive inevitably snaps. And he becomes in desperate turmoil.

Imagine if the glue that keeps everything dear to you comes loose, threatening your destruction. Wouldn’t you desperately try all you could to put your life back together? When this happens to the young Obsessive-Compulsive Tom Jolmen, he clings to his last hope. Tormented by a shadowy presence, Tom runs away to find his Christmas hero, St Nicholas. Join him, his sports-loving brother, Nate, and their new-found companions: the conflicted Brendan and antagonistic Paul on their quest. The adventure goes amiss. But with the aid of their guardian angels this failed attempt helps resolve their doubts and strengthen their faith as they discover the real truth about themselves.